


First Impressions

by ltkaidan



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Light Angst, M/M, PTSD flashbacks, Physical Disability, Post-Reaper War, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-09
Updated: 2019-04-09
Packaged: 2020-01-07 02:13:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18401069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ltkaidan/pseuds/ltkaidan
Summary: “You’re sweating."“Am I?”  Kaidan pulled at the collar of his loose button-up, dark brows knitting together as he stepped back to make room for Shepard.  “I didn’t think it’d be so warm today."“It isn’t."  John sent him a dry look as he exited the car, slow and careful, placing one foot down before moving the other.  “The high is six Celsius today."





	1. Chapter 1

It all began with an offhand suggestion.

Vaguely presented, with no pressure, no obligation, as was Kaidan’s usual manner of approach when regarding subjects that might bring up Shepard’s long-buried past.

_Come with me next time we visit Earth, Shepard.  I want to show you the orchard._

The word _home_ had sprung to mind, along with a flurry of different answers, all of which provided equally separate possibilities.  Raised on the streets of the great megalopolises covering Earth, Shepard never had a place to call home.  The _slums_ had been his home; the back alley on the intersection of 39th had been his home—until the Tenth Street Reds picked him up.  They had fed him, clothed him, and paid him; what they wanted in compensation was his loyalty, which was all that he had left to give.

But that was a lifetime ago.

Kaidan was his home, now.

The Reaper war had ended, and Earth, rebuilding.  Duties keeping them apart, there wasn’t enough time to sit down and talk about the offer made.  Two months whizzed by, the passage of time continuing its linear progression, and it was autumn before Shepard knew it.

Good.  Because there was something off about Kaidan’s recent behavior that Shepard couldn’t quite pin down.  It was present in the way he carried himself, whenever he turned tail and searched a crowded alliance hallway.  Unwavering, when their gazes locked, the Major striding forward, engaging in conversation.  Still there, when warm brown eyes flicked down to Shepard’s walking cane and back up again.

 _He’s too good to me,_  Shepard thought, an ill-defined sliver of pity skimming along the surface of his mind.   _He doesn’t owe me._

Nobody did.

Shepard had felt the beginnings of disquiet creeping up from some unknown part of him, aware that Kaidan had been patient, _stressed_ —but Kaidan was always good at that, better at waiting than Shepard, taking in stride the incessant interruptions in their lives and always prepared to give his lover a wide berth, ever without question.  However, despite his lack of complaints, Shepard knew Kaidan needed a vacation, too.  Needed to get away from all this…

**~*~*~*~**

  
“You’re more nervous than _I_ am."

One corner of his mouth curling up in a slight smirk, Shepard resisted the urge to squeeze Kaidan’s thigh and instead, concentrated on the document scrolling up his data-pad’s display.

“ _Relax_ , Kaidan.  And don’t crash the car."

“You haven’t met my mother,” Kaidan said in a rush of breath, as if that wasn’t a fact they were equally conscious of, and Shepard tensed up, just as Kaidan predicted he would.  The Major all but cursed himself before slanting his lover a sidelong glance, careful as he maneuvered over the partially reconstructed highway.

“Crap.  That wasn’t — I didn’t mean it in a bad way.  She’s just… my mom’s a lot to take in at once, y’know?”  
  
Well, no.  Shepard didn’t know.  And he didn’t think he would know anytime soon, either.  Shepard had met _many_ individuals over the years, including a sentient race of machines bent on consuming all intelligent life forms in the galaxy, and until he met Kaidan’s mother, he would have no idea what all the fuss was about.  
  
“You’re nervous.  It’s natural, K.  Anything I can do to help?”  
  
Wait, wasn’t this a little backward?  
  
Kaidan winced.  "This is backwards."  
  
Oh.  Always nice to have confirmation, though.  
  
Shepard shrugged.  “Talking about it might help."  
  
Sighing, Kaidan reached over and grabbed Shepard’s hand, squeezing softly.  “To tell the truth, I don’t even know what I’m worrying about.  I _know_ she’ll love you.  She thinks it’s an honor you’re visiting and - and she’s been _dying_ to meet you for years, now.  Every time I call home, it’s always the same complaint…”  Kaidan rolled his eyes, chuckling.  
  
“Years?”  Shepard echoed, brow quirked.  He broke into a ferocious grin when Kaidan tried pulling his hand away, clearly flustered by his slip of the tongue.

 _Years?_ Had Kaidan been telling his mother about him since the early days, back when they were on the hunt for Saren?  
  
Shepard knew Kaidan was close with his mother, but… telling his mother about the Normandy’s executive officer?  Really?  And what had he told her?  Had Kaidan told his mother about their wild chase across the stars, hunting down the rogue spectre, Saren, or perhaps, something more private, like confessing he had feelings for his commanding officer?  
  
Aside from Anderson, Shepard had never really experienced what it was like to have a parental figure...

Finding Kaidan's behavior rather endearing, he tightened his grip on Kaidan’s hand and laced together their fingers.

 _Nope, no running from this, Alenko._  
  
He inquired again, eyebrows waggling, “ _years_ , Kaidan?”  
  
“I might’ve… spilled my guts and told her everything when the SR1 went down."  
  
_Oh._

"And again, after Horizon."  
  
“Oh,” Shepard repeated the thought and blinked when he realized he’d said it out loud.  His grip on Kaidan’s hand loosened, but Kaidan made no move to pull away.  
  
“John…"  Kaidan sent him a concerned glance, attention split between his desire to make sure his lover wasn’t drowning himself in guilt and the road ahead.  “She… doesn’t _hate_ you or anything."  
  
“What have you told her?”  
  
“What _haven’t_ I told her?”  Kaidan settled back in his seat, shoulders slouching as he combed over the memory of when the last surviving members of the Normandy crew had arrived on the Citadel.  They had huddled together after the debriefing, still shaken and too reluctant to part, and each of their gazes reflected a barren sorrow, like something crucial had torn from their beings.  They looked the way Kaidan’s chest had felt and would feel for the next two years, hollowed out and empty without John Shepard to fill in the spaces.  
  
“I love my mother, Shepard.  She’s… everything I have left.  She’s – she’s always been there for me, y’know?  Even when I was light years away."  He swallowed hard, and the sound of it kicked Shepard’s stomach.  “When I lost you, I went straight home.  Nobody stopped me, nobody called me.  Well, Liara had messaged me, but I’d basically gone AWOL, shut everyone out.   Wasn’t like I was thinking about the consequences, then, I just... just took the next shuttle back to Earth and…"  He shrugged.  “Hugged my mom.  Cried.  Told her everything.  What it was like meeting you, knowing you.  Fighting beside you.  Falling in love with you.  The Geth, Saren, the Reapers.  Everything."  
  
Shepard closed his eyes as the heavy tracks of a long-buried grief began to resurface in Kaidan's voice, and only after Shepard wrapped himself in Kaidan’s words and the warmth of his love, did he allow himself to remember.

 

* * *

 

 _Quiet._    It‘s quiet, even as a beam illuminates the blackness of space and divides the final remnants of the Normandy, the following explosions bathing his body in holy light.  
  
_This is it.  This is the end._    He falls again into the black sea, braving the gentle caress of stardust on his fingers, until the aching brilliance resolves into something he can accept.  A hopeless seize for control, perhaps, in his final fleeting seconds.  
  
_We’re one, and apart._  A paradox he’s chosen to live, from this second onward, and each recalled instance adds another piece to it—segmenting, like a long passage through dreams, burning up.  
  
_Too little, too late._    In muted static, he watches the flaming debris pass him, bright blue eyes full of death, and he clutches, desperately, at the memory of his one great love—before the awareness solidifies.  
  
_Suit’s compromised,_ he figures out, belated panic sinking its teeth into his mind as he throws back both arms and searches for the leak, thrashing and helpless, his body weightless in the void of space, and the unexpected surge of cold seeps into his suit like metal spearheads impaling flesh.  
  
And silence enveloped him again.  His muffled breaths reverberate in his ears before a fire bursts on his tongue the second he tries screaming.  Chest burning, pressure warps his throat and flattens his lungs, forcing him to slam his eyes shut and exhale nothing.  
  
_So, this is it._   **Death** , immense and piercing, collapsing the light within him; one crossing that links a split second to infinity.  He can feel the influx at every angle, starlight storming through the boundaries of reason, drumming to the frantic cadence of his heart―until he’s falling―plummeting into the core of himself at terrible speeds.  
  
_I’m sorry._  And he’s sorry, so very sorry.  
_I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m so sorry k —_

 

* * *

 

“You’ve heard half of this before, I know, I’m sorry."

And one had to wonder if Kaidan relived the events of his death as much as Shepard.

Kaidan shook his head, as if exasperated by the fact he was still affected by what had happened, annoyed that he still had yet to move on and forget.  Annoyed by the smallest of things, like how there had been no penalty for his temporary desertion, either, when he had returned to active duty a week later.  Instead of a reprimand, he'd received a medal and a promotion.

“I don’t mean to bring it up all the time.  My mom knows how much you mean to me.  She knows you’re…”  Kaidan broke off, his attention taken by the merging traffic.

Shepard waited, ever the patient saint that he was, for the hesitation, the usual apprehension that emerged when Kaidan readied to wrench open his heart and talk about things neither of them really wanted to remember.  Only, this time, it never came.

“Everything to me,” Kaidan finished.

And when he slowed to a stop at an intersection Shepard didn’t recognize, this area not a part of Vancouver he’d ventured into before, he shifted and met Shepard’s gaze.

“You were right, though."

“About?”

“Talking did help."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you've made it this far— _wow_ , thanks so much for reading this hot mess!  
> i have a couple more installments to add, but i don't know how long this'll get.   
> a bit nervous posting this.  i haven't actually written fanfiction in _years_ lol  
> i apologize if there are any typos/grammatical errors, english isn't my first language!


	2. Chapter 2

   
Comforted only by the recognition that Kaidan wouldn't bring him home to meet his mother unless he was absolutely comfortable with their relationship, Shepard rubbed the tiredness from his eyes and did not give voice to what else was on his mind, nor did he voice his uneasiness.  He did, however, confess that he had very little experience in dating.  
  
"I've never met anyone's parents before," Shepard said around a huge yawn before he hastily amended his statement.  "I mean—while _dating_.  In a relationship.  Either active duty kept pushing the date or we'd already broken up before we got the chance to really talk about it."  
  
No doubt having experienced similar situations in the past, Kaidan flashed him an understanding smile.  "Hey, I get that, I do.  And it's okay.  I've only met someone's parents once—and I don't even know if she should count...  We bumped into her parents on the third date.  I was still trying to get to know her, then.  It was… awkward."  
  
"Have any of your exes met your mother?"  
  
Kaidan tried not to choke on his answer as he glanced to Shepard with wide eyes, "Oh _God_ , no."  
  
Shepard blinked in slight bewilderment. " _Never?_   Why not?"  
  
"I would've never heard the end of it, John.  You have no idea."  
  
Kaidan didn't follow up with an explanation, so, Shepard didn't pry, simply lowered his chin and went back to not reading the document on his data-pad.  
  
…Was it possible Mrs. Alenko was picky about who her only son dated?  And if that was the case, what kind of criteria would she have? 

Very high standards?  Or what— _impossibly_ high standards?  
  
_She would want someone who's as accomplished as her son,_ he imagined.  
  
Self-conflict claimed Shepard's mind with a deep frown.  He angled his body inconspicuously, resting his back against the car door, then raked his lover with an intense, speculative gaze.  
  
Kaidan was a more than capable soldier, excellent with tech and he possessed remarkable biotic talent.  He was one of the first human biotics, the second human Spectre, and he maintained the rank of Major in the Alliance Chain of Command.  Not to mention, Kaidan was down-to-earth and humble, despite being such a decorated officer.  
  
Oh, and cute.

 _Very cute,_ Shepard's mind appended enthusiastically.

Kaidan would shy over the little things, stutter when excited or when put on the spot, and Shepard adored that Kaidan would flush from head-to-toe if he so much as complimented him.

Or when Shepard nibbled and sucked on his neck.  That, too.  
  
Hell, if Mrs. Alenko held high standards, Shepard couldn't find it in him to blame her…  
  
Shepard swallowed at the thought, fumbled around with his data-pad trying to look busy, then asked, "ETA?"  
  
"We passed Kerrisdale around half an hour ago…  I'd say forty minutes or so, if traffic isn't too bad."  Kaidan kept his gaze locked on the road, but Shepard could see his eyebrows pushing together, like there was more he wanted to say.  "John, I…  I don't want you to go crazy worrying about what you say around my mother, but - she doesn't understand most military jargon, and she isn't going to tolerate the use of it in her house.  She never tolerated it from dad, and she isn't going to start with you."  
  
"What do you mean?"

 _Tolerate?_  Well, that was awfully specific.

Shepard ran a hand down his face as rampant thoughts ran wild in his mind.  "What does your mother have against military jargon?"  
  
Kaidan knew he had Shepard's full attention, but the words felt lodged in his throat.  His gaze slid to the time displayed on the dashboard as the tips of his ears and the back of his neck warmed.  Realizing that he hadn't already shared such a crucial quirk about his mother—less than an hour before introducing Shepard for the first time, made Kaidan feel as if he'd done a pretty shitty job at sharing about himself.  It wasn't that he had anything to hide, nor was he ashamed or reluctant…  Kaidan felt completely comfortable with Shepard.

So, why feel this way?  
  
_A painful lack of dating experience would do the trick,_ Kaidan figured, almost scoffing at himself.  _Never introduced anyone to mom, either._ And the reality shot a tiny pang of guilt to travel down the length of his spine.  _If he's feeling nervous, I haven't done jack shit to help._  
  
The Major ran a hand through his hair, then pulled his lower lip between his teeth, chewing on his answer.  Before Shepard had waltzed into Kaidan's life and promptly flipped it on its head, Kaidan had been a loner, who instinctively distanced himself from people, never allowing others to know too much about his private life…  And anything that involved his family and childhood was considered deeply intimate territory, off-limits even.

It was high time for candor.  Like back in the day, on the SR1, when Kaidan found himself chatting with Shepard about anything and everything during the rare moments of downtime he normally wouldn't have shared with anyone.

" _Ah_ \- well, long story short: mom never wanted me to enlist.  After BAat, I told you I spent some time, uh, _drifting_ … sorting myself out.  After I straightened up, I knew I wanted to enlist.  Dad was proud, but ma — ma had a hard time with my choice…  She'd already lost me for a couple of years, and that's not including the time I'd spent in brain camp.  She didn't want me to go far."

And before Vancouver's gray morning light could get the opportunity to give him hell with a migraine, Kaidan leaned over and opened up the glove compartment, reaching for a pair of sunglasses he'd tossed in before they left.  It still felt odd being surrounded by so much scenery.  After spending eight, nine months, cooped up indoors, ass glued to the chair beside Shepard's hospital bed, the warmth of sunlight on his skin felt almost foreign.  And, apparently, Kaidan's eyes were having trouble adjusting to anything other than artificial light.

"She has plenty of reasons to resent military life.  So, I try not to push it when I'm around her.  I don't talk about work.  I don't use military rank when I refer to you.  She wanted me to become a _doctor_ , Shepard.  _Anything_ safer than what I'd gone through."  Head ducked and shaking, Kaidan gave a low chuckle before he slid on the pair of classic tinted shades.  "Technically, I still did what she wanted…  I'm classified as a field medic, too."

Shepard shifted uncomfortably.  Despite feeling at sea, he finally gathered enough of his frenetic thoughts to hopefully form a coherent sentence.  "I see where she's coming from.  The years she could’ve spent with you were taken by BAat.  I can understand the distrust, too—but all kids grow up someday.  Even you.  You just… had to grow up earlier than everyone else."

Kaidan regarded him with a small smile.  " _Heh_.  Look who's talking."

"That's different," Shepard disagreed, shoulders jerking as his gaze fell to his lap.

With a sudden bloom of light, everything leapt into sharp focus as light tore the noonday sky.  A dark mass had seized the west.  It was a crossing storm rolling straight towards them, appearing heavy with rain and lightning _._   The spectacle drew Shepard to the window, setting a momentary pause in the conversation.  It looked as though the storm would pass quickly.

The war hadn't reached this part of the metropolis, but as some clouds passed and the sun rose to cast gray light all around, the hard tracks of destruction and decay were still visible everywhere.  Except, to Shepard, Vancouver was like a spring flower, sprouting up from a sea of ashes.

Beautiful.

Shepard didn't remember when he stopped to stare or how long he'd spent staring.  He was enjoying himself now, and unlike earlier, he was wide awake.  Sleep had been pulling at the back of his mind since they left the apartment, cajoling him to take a nap at some point.  Recharge before meeting Kaidan's mother.  But those rampant thoughts kept him awake… and how jarring it was to know he had the luxury of _napping_ when, just last year, Shepard only knew of heartache and war, countless contingencies, and the ice-cold dread of perhaps, coming to lose everything.

Shepard’s gaze steered left, and he settled Kaidan's free hand between them, perceiving the frantic drumming of his heart through their bound hands.

Kaidan knew his lover well.  He could recognize the signs with ease.  Without another word, he slid off his sunglasses and meshed their fingers together, gently squeezing, allowing Shepard to take bits of comfort where he could.

Now hung in suspension, the two men sat through a long stretch of peaceful silence before Shepard began to make a show of shifting in his seat again, scooting his body closer to Kaidan while thinking like any clever military tactician would.  Shepard desperately needed a distraction.

And so, he asked Kaidan to describe his mother, her personality and her traits, help him envision the woman who raised one helluva soldier. Shepard was out of his depth, after all, and he knew he needed more information to make this first impression a good one.

" _Describe_ her?  …Okay, yeah, sure, I can do that."  Kaidan nodded when his lover shot him an imploring look that threatened his secret weapon, Shepard's classic puppy-dog eyes and pout that often garnered more laughs and ridicule than ever managed to tug at one's heartstrings.

"My mom, she's from Singapore.  Born and raised on a small farm…  'Real traditional woman, y'know?  Her family was one of the last remaining families that still owned farmland.  When my dad inherited an inland home that would mature to new beachfront if we moved there and got the contract finalized, he told me it took a hell of a lot to convince her to leave. 

“She was _so_ angry about moving; she wouldn’t talk to him during the whole transition!  But my parents had wanted the same thing; they wanted to retire.  _Heh_.  Thinking back, she was probably excited as hell.  Just scared she was leaving and didn’t want to admit it.  Before moving to Vancouver, she’d never been outside of Singapore.  She was about to leave her _whole_ life behind.  I’d have been scared too.”

“Your mother was very brave for leaving.”

Shepard could still remember the first time he’d boarded an Alliance shuttle.  He recalled the sergeant’s deep voice explaining the Alliance’s enlistment steps and the subsequent silence that blanketed the passengers as the shuttle took to the sky.  His hands had trembled so badly, he’d tucked them under his thighs, terrified that if the sergeant noticed, he would deem Shepard too scrawny.  Or Unstable.  An addict.  Simply unfit for duty.

His eighteen-year-old brain had conjured a million and one reasons why the Alliance wouldn’t want someone like _him_ joining their ranks.  A street rat with a criminal background, and with not a single credit to his name.  But Shepard couldn’t have gone back.  He’d severed all ties with the Reds before leaving, even made a few enemies along the way, and if they ever saw him again, they would have had his body turn up a week later, floating in the Bay.

“She sure was.  In her eyes, everything outside of Singapore was the great unknown.  And learning English wasn't easy for her, either, even with my dad's help.  He used to tell me stories about when he was first stationed in Singapore…  When they met, she didn't have a language chip.  Couldn't afford one.  My dad could understand her, but she didn't have a clue as to what _he_ was saying.  Eventually, he learned enough to fall in love with her.  I mean—I’m here, aren’t I?"

For some reason, the mental image of Kaidan's mother and father, struggling to communicate, amused Shepard.  It was strangely endearing.  _Romantic_ , in its own way, how they had managed to fall in love despite the language barrier…

"Living in Canada, my mom learned English fast.  Plenty of people speak Chinese in Vancouver, but knowing my mother—I guess it was pride.  When she couldn't think of a word, she would switch languages.  Made a habit out of it, too.  Used to confuse the _crap_ out of people—until my dad got her a subdermal implant.  Can’t believe it’d taken her so long—she hates keeping up with tech," he supplied, almost grinning when he saw Shepard arched an eyebrow.

This was good.  A nice change of pace and apparently, just what Shepard needed to brush aside those darker thoughts Kaidan had sensed.  Kaidan wasn’t sure how sharing his mother’s background served to ease Shepard's anxieties, but even a blind man could see that curiosity, that burning excitement flickering in bright blue eyes.  And Kaidan simply couldn't help but indulge his lover.

" _Yeah_ … grew up learning a lot of the languages they speak in Singapore.  **Five** national dialects.  Chinese, Malay, Tamil—you name it.  It’s been years since I’ve tried speaking anything other than Chinese or French, but I can probably still carry a conversation without a translator.

"After we moved to Vancouver, my mom decided she wanted me to learn French and… _damn_."  His features twisted into a deep scowl as he recalled the memory.  "Worst time of my nine-year-old life.  I was already taking advanced classes, up to my _shoulders_ in schoolwork, and French was nothing like any of the other languages I'd learned over the years.  But ma had drilled those lessons like all hells.  Every night, I'd have lessons before bed, then, she’d quiz me in the morning while on the way to school."

" _Wow_ ," Shepard breathed, while shoving aside the immediate and completely _irrational_ sense of inadequacy.  He smiled brilliantly, more than genuinely impressed.  "That's amazing, Kaidan.  I didn't know you speak so many languages."

Kaidan flushed.  "At least _you_ appreciate it.  I remember the other kids would make fun of me for it—learning so many languages when we weren't far off from our omni-implants.  Couldn’t wait for the day I turned thirteen…  I thought it was a Christmas miracle when dad convinced her to let me have one installed."

Shepard made a face before Kaidan had even finished, and he eyed his lover with an odd mix of both confusion and annoyance.  Had Kaidan experienced bullying when he was young?

The sky lit the side of Shepard's profile, and this time, he glimpsed out the window as the car trembled under crawling rumbles, warning them of the closing distance.  He turned away quickly, however, wanting nothing more than complete ignorance of the approaching storm.  It seemed he was wrong about his earlier assumption.  Those angry clouds appeared content to hover above them for a while to come.

"It's _impressive._ Don't make light of what you can do, Kaidan.  It isn't every day you come across a human who's fluent in more than _two_ languages.  Nowadays, people just depend on their PDAs."

"T-Thanks."  Heat began a slow crawl across Kaidan's cheeks, and now, he regretted removing his sunglasses.  "Pretty sure my mom just wanted me busy while dad was gone, y'know?  My father might’ve retired, but he’d still pick up assignments every now and then.  Consultant work.  Nothing serious.  She made sure I'd toe the line.  Can't get into trouble if I'm too busy studying, eh?"  He chuckled.  "What about you, Shepard?  Do you—uh, speak any other languages?"

"Dutch."

Kaidan did a double-take.  "You speak Dutch?"

"And French."  Shepard nodded.  "Never learned it in a classroom setting or anything, but… yeah.  Dutch—and French."

Shepard couldn't help but question if his latter claim would count as stretching the truth.  Back in the day, he'd learned enough French to conduct a consistent conversation, but he wasn't confident how well he would do if he tried now.

With his omni-implant installed immediately after enlisting, there hadn't been the need to worry about languages.  Shepard furrowed his eyebrows and hoped Kaidan wouldn't urge him into giving a sample of his French.  He had always struggled with his inflection and intonation.  Not to mention, Shepard was more thoroughly acquainted with _slang-speech_ rather than formal French...

"Self-taught?  Now, _that's_ impressive."

The Commander averted his gaze, offering nothing to Kaidan, save for a self-conscious shrug.  He had picked up most, if not all of his lessons from less than savory characters.

"Not…  exactly."  Shepard cupped the back of his neck as he elaborated.  "The Reds might be xenophobic assholes to aliens, but the members aren't divided by race.  There were a couple of members willing to play mentor and teach me a few things - if I ran errands for them."

Shepard didn't mention he had also learnt the basics of various other languages, such as German and Russian and Polish, but for entirely different reasons that had nothing to do with the innocent nature of simply wanting to learn.

Shepard couldn't know if it was still in practice, but when the Reds forced him to deal on the streets, they enforced switching languages to throw off any nosy passersby.  And especially, when dealing with clientele from the slums, the ones who couldn't afford a translator and wouldn't know if their deal was solid.  The switch in languages propelled them from their comfort zone, rendered them jumpier and even more uncertain of themselves.  Easier to crack down on.

"I had textbooks for referencing."  Kaidan touched a finger to his temple, simpering.  "All you had for reference was your _memory_.  I think that's pretty damned impressive, Shepard."  He gently nudged his lover's side.  " _'Don't make light of what you can do'_ , eh?"

"Thanks," was all Shepard said, and he decided to hide his slight grimace by mindlessly navigating the menus on his data-pad.  Although running with the Tenth Street Reds wasn't deemed a _high_ point in his existence, Shepard could admit that he had learned a great deal from the members who'd bothered giving him the time of day.

Another mutter of thunder rolled from blackened skies as a wind picked up, carrying a torrent of water in its wake that lashed down on the dashboard.  Heavy nostalgia swept over both men then, from differing fronts, and Kaidan slumped back in his seat, exhaling deeply.  Talking about his parents reminded him just how much he missed them…  He felt Shepard squeeze his hand reassuringly, and he sighed again, seemingly out of habit. 

"Being the only son… "  He swiped his thumb over Shepard's palm, thoughtlessly circling over the rough patches of calluses.  "My parents had all these crazy expectations set before I even knew how to walk, and - and I might not have met _every_ one of them, but — if there's **one** thing…  it's you."

" _Me_?"  Taken by surprise, Shepard almost dropped the data-pad in his hands.  His eyebrows climbed up as Kaidan's lips pulled into a sly grin.

"I'm about to introduce my mother to the man who saved the _entire galaxy_.  I think that's going a _little_ over 'above and beyond', eh, Shepard?"

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this wasn't meant to be a chapter. ._.  
> it all began with me making some simple corrections while proofreading what's now chapter 3, before i realized i wanted to add more. ... and more... then a little more... and then i passed 3k words > >  oops.  sorry if this came out super messy.  i haven't written fanfiction in so long, it seems i've lost the understanding of how to pace fiction.  
> please let me know what you guys think!  i have so many ideas for these two, and i'd love to write more if anyone's interested in reading!  i'm thinking about a highschool/college!au next, or — heck, i even have a mafia!au in mind... i've been plotting that one for a couple of months now :>  
> what would _you_ guys like to see?   i'm always down for bouncing ideas!  
> anyway, thanks so much for reading!!  hope to update soon!
> 
> ps: _whispers_ happy birthday, commander shepard !! ♥


End file.
